On Eulogizing
Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.’
So God created humankind in his image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
This is one of the great theological and spiritual truth of the Judeo-Christian tradition. It seems to be one of the few core claims that is held by virtually every branch within the Jewish and Christian faiths. Indeed many beyond the Judeo-Christian tradition would affirm this claim too. Human life is precious and sacred, precisely because we have been created in the image of God. We are a reflection of our creator. Because this is true — we believe strongly that human life should be treated with dignity, respect, and honor. And especially, when human life is lost, we pay special care with words, actions, and end-of-life rituals that display this dignity, respect, and honor. And at Christian funerals — we attempt to connect the life of the person who has passed with the creator. And it comes both from the gospel promise of resurrection and from this truth that we are created in the image of God. For if that is true — then we are indeed special, our lives have been infused with deep meaning, and something about us is — both sacred and eternal.
When I have that great sacred privilege of conducting a funeral, I try to learn as much as I can about the person who has passed away, usually by sitting down with a member or members of the surviving family. I ask about their childhood, about their parents, about the early schooling, about their religious life. Did they go to college? Did they serve in the military? What were their hobbies? Where did they live? What organizations were they a part of? What was their character like? What funny or memorable stories do you have of them? There are many other questions I might ask as well. But there are some that I don’t ask — not because there aren’t answers to them, but because it isn’t the time and it isn’t my place to ask them. I’m preparing to lift up this person with honor, dignity, and respect.
And so I don’t usually ask things like, What was the worst thing they ever did? Did they have any substance abuse problems? Tell me about that ugly divorce, how ugly was it? When was a time you felt betrayed by your loved one?
If I started asking questions like this, families would wonder — am I even on their side? It would cause unnecessary heartache and provoke anger and a particularly vulnerable time.
No, what I’m doing, as part of that service of dignity, honor, and respect, is preparing a eulogy. Literally, the word eulogy means, “Good Word.”
If there are difficult relationships, struggles that a family wishes not to broadcast to the world, I honor that. If there is brokenness that is a significant part of that person’s life and they do wish to share it, then I honor that too in a sensitive and non-shaming way. I am not a historian giving a critical biography of the person’s life. I’m giving a Good Word. Because, in the mourning period after someone dies, it is a time to show dignity, honor, and respect. Why? Because we are created in the image of God.
Friends, this is true of George Floyd and it is true of David Dorn. And it is true of each precious human life. I encourage you to remember this as we mourn the lives of those killed by police and those who die serving as police. And indeed anytime, a precious child of God is lost — it is a reminder that we are created in the image of God.
It is especially important to hold on to our most central of values during times of stress and emotional duress. There has been significant loss and needless loss. This brings difficult emotions to the surface. Many things have been said that may make us defensive. This brings difficult emotions to the surface. And sometimes when emotions are raw, we say and do things both that we’ve lacked the emotional courage to do so before, but also that we wish had considered more carefully before going ahead and saying or doing that.
It has been a difficult few months for most of us and even more difficult few weeks. I am not sure I remember a time that has felt more tense in the life of our nation than the present one. We are having very difficult discussions in our nation right now — through the media, at protests, with one another, and on social media. There are so many different, overlapping, and contradictory perspectives on what has happened, what is happening, what it means and what should be done about it. I’m reminded of Buffalo Springfield’s lyrics, “There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s battle lines being drawn. Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.” We all have thoughts and feelings about what is going on, what’s being said and done and by whom.
I believe that a central theme of my preaching here at Epworth has been lifting up the virtue of “perspective taking” in different ways. That is, the critical action of attempting to see the world as someone else sees it, with empathy and without judgment. Many of us have hot takes on what is happening. I know I have mine and those convictions are important to me. Yet, I continue to believe that at this particular moment in history, that “perspective taking” is the critical Christian spiritual discipline of the era.
And “eulogizing” is a powerful way to try to do this. What would you say if you were writing the eulogy of this person or that person? I can tell you, when you’re a preacher, you don’t get to pick who you eulogize. But more importantly — because we are created in the image of God — neither do you. It is the duty of all of us.
As a preacher, I can tell you, sometimes eulogizing comes easy. Sometimes it does not. But there’s one posture, I have found a great help in all forms of eulogizing — of saying a good word. I believe it is a gift that God gives to each one of us, and I want to point you to it this morning. It is the gift of genuine curiosity. And its close cousins: awe, wonder, and fascination.
This week, we’ve seen police brutality, massive protests, clashes between protesters and police, the removal of Confederate monuments, destruction of property, police offers killed in the line of duty, an uptick in Cornavirus cases, and statements and actions by the president that have delighted some and horrified others.
The natural response to much of this is anger and outrage. I’ve certainly felt my share of that. And I do think it has its appropriate place. But what if, after those feelings, we invite ourselves to be curious.
There was another remarkable event that happened this last week: the successful launch of the Falcon 9 SpaceX rocket with astronauts aboard. An event that more naturally invites us into a posture of curiosity, wonder, and fascination.
I’m curious, what would happen, if we tried on these sorts of feelings and looked at the world around us through them.
As African-Americans watched the George Floyd video, the protests and all that has unfolded, I wonder what each of them has thought and felt. To be up close and personal, yet again, to deep wounds.
As protesters took to the streets, I wonder what each of them thought and felt.
As police set out to serve and protect, I wonder what each of them thought and felt.
As astronauts took off from planet earth in flight into space, I wonder what each of them thought and felt. To see the earth from an altitude that most of us will never see accelerating up into space.
I want to show you each a fascinating video that I believe has relevance to all that has been happening in our world in these past days AND to our Scripture text this morning.
<iframe width=”560" height=”315" src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/0fKBhvDjuy0" frameborder=”0" allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>
Fascinating — isn’t it. This was produced in 1977. Imagine if it were produced today with new knowledge about the smallest particles and today’s tools to see further into space with even more clarity. Imagine if it was produced 1000 years from now — hard to predict.
Imagine someone told the story of the vastness of the world 2500 years ago or longer. Well, they did. I invite you to hear it.
Fascinating — isn’t it?
When you consider with awe the great vastness of all that is and how the entirety of creation, the cosmos can be seen from so many different altitudes and depths, how much more are we filled with awe.
One is not true and the other false. They are different ways of understanding the vast nature of creation that reflect the concerns, the vantage point, the tools, of both the person telling the story, their audience, their era, and much more. In this great vast creation, we are specks. Yet specks that have what seems to be an inexhaustible depth to us.
And specks that were created in the image of God. And God said that this vast variety of specks was not just good, but very good.
If you’re like me — it is easy to get captivated by the majesty and granduer of the created order — whether it is a ancient narrative about how God created all that is or a zooming out from a single point to the great vast outer reaches of the known universe. It is easy to get curious about all of this.
Yet, this week, as the news and events have been unfolding and we talk to one another about it in our different ways — it seems to me that it is far harder to be genuinely curious about what is is like when you do that deep dive down into someone’s heart, mind and soul that sees and experiences the world very differently from you.
Yet, what if, being created in the image of God actually means we too are to be creators of curiosity, wonder, and awe. There is actually something hardwired within us to engage in perspective taking. It is the birthplace of personal growth. In this great, vast creation, there are so many ways in which we can zoom in and zoom out from all different angles.
I don’t know what’s going to happen this next week or the week after that. But I have a prediction. Somebody is going to say or do something that makes you mad. I’m not asking you to suppress your anger. Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they simply are. But I do invite you to get to a place where you can get curious about all that is going on around us, even, perhaps, especially, the things that upon first reaction, make you angry, fearful, or defensive. And get curios about your self too. Why does something upset you? Don’t settle for easy answers. This can be a time of growth — for growth often comes from deep pain. Explore events and perspectives with wonder and awe. Be able to eulogize it, if you had to. For this too is what it means to be created in the image of God.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
